Every now and then, I go through a time when I remember how faithless and fickle I am. It scares me. When I realize how I am "continually straying like sheep" (1 Peter 2:25), when I start to get a taste of walking through a dark place without holding my Father's hand. When my independence rears its head and stares me in the face, I tremble.
Ask my Dad, he'll tell you that one of my favorite things to say as a little child was, "I do it myelf." Even now, I still say that, just in a slightly more intelligent-sounding way: "I got it." (...Isn't that grammatically incorrect? Shouldn't it be, "I have it"? Whatever. Not the point.)
The problem is, I don't "have it." Another problem: I don't realize that I don't.
Thankfully, God does.
It amazes me that God loves me enough to bring me back to Him when I wander. His love for us, His children, is so strong and true that even when we begin to walk away, search for joy in other things, put on the mindset that we can get along just fine without him, He searches us out and brings us back. Wow.
There is a Chris Rice song called "Prone to Wander." Apparently. I haven't heard it, and I can't find it on the internet so I can't listen to it. But I found the lyrics, and they are beautiful.
"On the surface not a ripple,
Undercurrent wages war.
Quiet in the sanctuary,
Sin is crouching at my door.
How can I be so prone to wander,
So prone to leave You,
So prone to die.
And how can You be so full of mercy,
You race to meet me and bring me back to life.
I wake to find my soul in fragments,
Given to a thousand loves.
But only One will have no rival,
Hangs to heal me, spills His blood.
Curse-reversing Day of Jesus,
When You finally seize my soul.
Freedom from myself will be the
Sweetest rest I've ever known.
How can I be so prone to wander,
So prone to leave You,
So prone to die.
And how can You be so full of mercy,
You race to meet me and bring me back to life."
~Chris Brown
I am branded with the sign of my Lord, and I treasure that mark, the mark of Love. The mark of mercy, of the sacrifice of the Lamb, of a royal priesthood, of a holy nation.
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, jealousy as fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it." Song of Solomon 8:6-7
"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." 1 Peter 2:9-10
His love is strong. It is passionate and fierce, and nothing will quench it. Not even my sin. For His glory and because of His love, he has made us into a people, His people. This is amazing.
"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands." Psalm 63:3-4
